- 31 August 2016
1. Please initiate the encrypted transmission:
2. Meet THE TEAM!
3. But please don't get TOO attached...
3. Meet Colonel Gertrud 'Hex' Neumann, the leader of the pack and weapon of mass-alien-ass-destruction:
4. But be advised to keep your distance, or else...
5. LOL just kidding, she just gets EVEN MORE DEADLY with every passing inch. #DeadlierThanCorona #G-Virus #WhatGertyDoes
6. Meet Colonel Jesus 'Nova' Rodriguez, the only soldier (still alive) to have been there from the very beginning.
After all (and recent genetic improvements), he is confirmed to be THE. LITERAL. JESUS.
7. Oh, was that a MECH in the team photo? Well yes, yes it was.
8. Major Emily "Freya" KING likes to pew pew with her railgun and jump on buildings with ther jet pack boots just like the next girl (who got her limbs amputated for the augmentation):
9. We feel oblidged to mention that sometimes, when alien invasor ugly-ass human-lookalike guys with glasses get on HER truck, she might not be too pleased about it.
(Please leave that girl and her truck alone, for your very own safety)
(Also for the safety of any adjacent architecture)
10. Just sometimes, when she hangs out at the bar and had one too many, she gets kinda worked up on that whole truck thing... again... and starts a fight
(but, in her defense, also really quickly ends it, too)
(lol she doesn't need defense)
11. Did I say trucks? I also meant construction site elevated platforms. You get the gist. #ReturnToSender #MechStranding
12. Satellites are registering another alien abduction / terror attack / VERY EVIL THING WHY DON'T YOU COME IN PEACE, YOU MO***FU****S.
Commander, please activate combat ambience and get your team out there ASAP!
(*Fancy shmancy laster shotgun not included in the initial XCOM+ subscription service. Additional fees might apply. Please have your parent's credit card at the ready)
13. Oh them Extratertesticals got their own MECH now, too, huh? And just when I tought this would turn(-based) out to be a nice day.
14. MAJOR KING, WOULD YOU PLEASE BE SO yes, yes, he definitely did say something about boarding your truck or whatever, promise
15. Well done, survivors, you've totally earned your upcoming casual upper arm-free friday mission
Join us over at the GUF Discord to get the full up to date XCOM experience, streaming inclusive!
Also, follow Gertrud on her Insta WhatGertyDoes and check if she's still killin' or if she finally made that one regretful devastating positional error.
16. BEWARE OF THE MASTER OF ZOMB-FU!